How to cohabitate with a roommate (or not)

On: May 31, 2019

I understand it’s not always easy to live with people. Often times college students get roommates assigned, rather than hand-picking them. But a few things to keep in mind might make the process a little bit easier.

Neither of you has lived together before, so it will take some adjustment. Communication of expectations, shared expenses, division of labor as far as cleaning and maintenance, conversations about sleeping/studying/showing schedules, having friends over, will need to be had so that you don’t run into issues later.
You don’t have to be best friends. Just because you are roommates with someone doesn’t mean that you have to hang out together at social functions, have the same friend group(s), study together, etc. I lived with a girl for 3 years in college because we just lived well together, not because we were best friends because we weren’t. We got along just fine, were flexible enough to understand each other’s differences, shared the responsibilities of living together, were in separate majors, separate clubs, and although some of our friends overlapped, we had different groups of friends, too.
Respect goes such a long way. When there is a problem, talk to them. I remember very early in the semester, my roommate put her shoes in a place that made it difficult to get into my side of the closet. Rather than go complain about it to my friends…I just said “can you please not put your shoes there because I can’t get into my side of the closet” and she said ok. End of story. Problem solved. It was my turn to do the dishes and I had completely spaced it. She reminded me that it was my turn and could I please do them today or tomorrow. Done. Just like that. It really was that simple. We paid attention to what the other person preferred, gave them the benefit of the doubt, and confronted small things so they didn’t grow into big things. She went home a lot of weekends; I always stayed on campus. She went to bed early; I stayed up late. She had 8am classes; mine started at 10. It probably happened because two hormonal girls were living together, but I honestly can’t remember a time we got into a fight.

I realize that not everyone goes into living together with such open minds and easy going personalities, but I urge you to try it. If things don’t work out you will know that you did your best to make living with you tolerable!

As always, your Resident Assistant (if you live on campus) is trained in conflict resolution and can listen or even help you mediate the situation, if possible.

What has or hasn’t worked for you? Subscribe to my page and leave me a comment!

We’re in this together.